2014 would have marked my 11th year in a row at T in the Park, unfotunately however, my lucky run will be broken this weekend due to a severe bank account drought after the wedding (booooo).

Although I am not getting involved in this year’s festivities, I wanted to breakdown tips gleaned over the years to any festival rookies out there, who are keen to achieve practical glamour and just generally survive a weekend of camping at a festival.

Let’s kick things off with your festival essentials (this list assumes you have a standard camping ticket – so none of this tangerine ticket malarky)

• Tent
• Backpack
• Air bed (not so essential for some, but believe me you will not regret having one of these. Sleeping is hard enough what with the constant noise but if you are on the ground, sleep is literally much harder)
• Pump for air bed (invest in a battery powered one or you will be blowing it up for ages)
• Wellies
• Shoulder bag
• Trainers/ Converse
• Sunglasses
• Poncho (the poncho in the pockets from Primark look good & and fold away to nothing)
• 3-4 outfits (tips on the perfect attire to follow)
• Wipes
• Hair bobbles
• Dry shampoo
• Brush
• Deodorant
• Perfume
• Antibacterial handwash
• Sun cream
• Moisturiser (if you are anything like me a hangover equates to very skin)
• Skin so soft (to keep the midge at bay – you can get this at Tiso, in addition to Avon)
• Toothbrush (a cheap one you can bin at the end of the weekend)
• Toothpaste
• Toilet paper
• Chewing gum
• Berocca
• A pot of glitter (must seem like a strange one, but I can’t go to a festival without it, looks lovely on your lids or cheeks to give you that hippy girl look)
• Tweezers (trust me if you see an obvious hair, you’ll be gutted if you don’t have these to pluck it out.  Again, I don’t know if it is just me, but after a night on the sauce I’m convinced my hair grows in quicker…)

Where possible purchase the travel size in the toiletries listed above to cut down on the weight of your bag and to save wastage. What’s more, if you have a travel size deo/ perfume, you can take this into the arena with you to ensure you are smelling festival fresh all day and night.

Now for some pearls of wisdom…

Festival dos & dont’s

Don’t:

• Expect to be happy about the toilet situation – this was a real shock to me my first year at T when I was actually sick on walking by some particularly bad portaloos.  The good news is that over the years toilet cleaniless seems to be at the forefront of the organisers minds and so they have improved…somewhat…If you are a girl perhaps try a she-pee (I tried this once and it wasn’t really for me but you should give it a go to check it off the list of things to do before you go – or consider investing in a ‘pee tent’…enough said)
• Wear a jumpsuit – again linking back to the toilet side of things – take my advice you want the whole situation over quick and you don’t want to have to take any clothes off from your upper half throughout the process
• Don’t wear white or a pale colour on your lower half – imagine the stains on your butt if you sit on the grass
• Wear any shoes with holes – imagine mud seeping into your shoes, which very often smells similar to the mud around the loos, and then imagine using the portaloos with exposed toes…(actually gives me shudders)
• Wear any shoes with any kind of heels – even trainers with concealed heels, trust me I have seen the blisters
• Be surprised if you cry on the journey from the car to the campsite – this walk has broken me on a couple of occasions when trying to carry everything, especially since I have the upper body strength of a baby monkey.  Remember it is always best to make 2 trips than break down on your attempt to carry everything
• Use a sledge/ suitcase to carry your stuff to the campsite – if the ground is muddy the small wheels of the case will get stuck and anything placed on a sledge will slip off, even if taped, and I can assure you will end up ditching it
• Don’t ever book a Marshall Travel bus for your journey – two years ago the driver simply dumped our group at Tantra in Kirkintilloch, in the early hours of the Monday morning, it was teaming it down with rain and then no taxi driver would take us as we were all so dirty, very harsh times
• Leave your tent behind – it is a waste of money and all tents left at T in the P go to a landfill and not to charity, as many people seem to believe

Do:

• Pack light, or try to – remember that everything you pack, you have to carry
• Watch your alcohol intake – on my 2nd visit to T (when I was 18), my friend and I were a bit over enthusiastic with our drinking, we had downed a vodka and Lambrini concotion before we even got into the arena.  Of course shortly after getting into the arena, my friend was lying on the ground being sick and I was standing over her hopping about, absolutely desperate for the toilet.  We made an agreement that she would remain lying on the ground, in the same spot, in the recovery position, and I would race back.  But on my return she had disappeared (to this day she maintains I must of returned to the wrong place) and so I proceeded to run about all of the first aid tents for hours and eventually had to ask a policeman for help. As my friend’s dad was a police officer however, I refused to give him her name in case her dad heard she had been reported missing at T (within 2 hours of it being open) and that then of course made the whole process of finding her that bit harder…Lesson: do not get too drunk at a festival so that you lose essential functions, such as walking and memory
• In a bid to reduce the need for make-up over the weekend, consider getting a Fake Bake spray tan and perhaps even lash extensions before you go and a shellac manicure, which will ensure no dirty-looking and chipped nails
• Be vigilent with your belongings –  there is a lost property point and so always check there 1st if you do find youself missing anything.  Although I have to admit, I am one to talk, one year I took a brand spanking new pair of size 3 navy Hunter wellies and managed to come home with a pair of black size 5 Hunters…
• Camp as far away from the portaloos as you can – I know a rookie’s logic is to camp near, so if you need the toilet in the night you are close, but believe me the smell of the loos along with the fact that the ground around them will be some of the most walked on, combine to create a horrible and lingering aroma
• Don’t camp at the edge of a path – if it rains the mud that builds from walking could end up in your tent
• If cider or beer is your tipple, then consider pre-ordering a crate or two from the Tennents Be Chilled.  Although a more expensive option, this saves you carrying crates to the campsite and also means you can enjoy a cool drink.  As we all know, drinking warm bevy is pretty horrible and so take into consideration what tastes best warm when deciding upon any other drink you want to take
• If you can get a group of friends together, consider the cost of a people carrier taxi – getting dropped off and picked up at the drop off point massively cuts down your walking distance from the car park to the campsite and also saves you waiting on the bus – which I hear on the return journey is comparable to a zoo
• Have a meeting place should anyone from your group go missing – always look out for each other
• Invest in a programme so you can create a plan to see your favoured bands
• Get as much photographic evidence as you can
• Take ID
• Remember that alcohol tokens purchased on one day may not be valid for the next
• Expect to get dirty and try not to care – if mud is an issue use your wipes to clean your gear or get a Refresh pass
• Go open minded and expect to meet some great new people, likewise avoid any trouble, there are arseholes everywhere you go in the world and T in the P is no different
• Empty toiletry bottles (from Primark) are ideal containers for taking booze into the arena if you are inclined to do so…just saying

The above now leads me onto what to wear?  ‘Screen shopping’ for the perfect festival clobber led me to Love FRMS, an online brand whose focus is providing edgy and affordable fashion.  The owner and founder of the business, Ashley Harris, is a good friend of mine who has a fantastic eye for fashion buying and can count Katie Price and some of the Towie girls as customers.  I have compiled some examples of perfect festival clobber from Love FRMS, so if you are looking to pick up some last minute buys, head to the boutique tomorrow!

With festival fashion, there comes an element of freedom that I have always loved.  Mix up patterns, colours and textures and most importantly remember you are aiming for practical glamour (so disregard the heels in the pics above!)  The Love FRMS hairband (which comes in a variety of colours) will give you that cute/ girly look and can be replaced with the floral cap when you feel your hair is past its best.  The frilled and studded bag is the perfect size to carry all the essentials around the arena all day; the jewellery conveys those festival feelings and the Lady Gaga inspired sunglasses will hide a multitude of sins.  In terms of ideal tops, I always like to go for colourful tanks or fitted and quirky t-shirts.  These lacy denim shorts are perfect and matched with the Love FRMS lacy bra-let offers the ultimate quirky festival look, especially when teamed with frilly socks in Converse, high tops or Nike Air trainers.  The great thing about denim shorts is that they can be worn more than once over the weekend and so are a great way to cut the weight of your bag.  Finally, you can never go wrong with a glittery biker jacket or leather jacket and to add to these why not also take a warm fluffy jumper (you’ll need this for when it gets cold) and my staple festival fave – a vintage Adidas tracksuit top? Sports Luxe is still massive at the moment and so this addition will be bang on trend.

I hope these words of wisdom and tips help you prepare for the weekend ahead.  My biggest tip, have fun, T in the Park is truly one of the best weekends of the year and I hear it is set to be the second warmest weekend in the history of the festival – happy days x

For more information on T in the Park, click here.