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An unexpected title for a post?  It came about during a conversation with my GBF Matthew on Saturday night, when after a few too many vinos it was decided that my next post simply had to focus on the life of a modern gay man (another headline option that was flirted with being: From top to bottom: the modern intricacies of a modern gay man…)

Did you know that there are still 81 countries where homosexuality is illegal (countries listed here)?  For me, this and homophobia itself is beyond baffling.  What makes living on this planet so interesting is the many different types of people and creatures who roam its surface – the colours, the sizes, the personalities.  If a person chooses to love/ make the love with a person of the same sex, as long as both parties are of legal age and of course consent, who is anyone else to judge?

It seems that bad attitudes on homosexuality stem from religion…

Leviticus 18:22
“Do not practice homosexuality, having sex with another man as with a woman. It is a detestable sin.” (NLT)

Leviticus 20:13
“If a man practices homosexuality, having sex with another man as with a woman, both men have committed a detestable act. They must both be put to death, for they are guilty of a capital offense.” (NLT)

The above quotes were taken from a ‘Christianity Expert’ website, but I have also read similar writings from another religious text.  I find myself feeling disappointed at this Leviticus and to read any statements such as this from religious scripture, especially when religion is supposed to provide a sound moral code and that various religions are haunted by stories of child abuse in many different forms, murder, torture, rape.  Infact the list of bad things and hatred which has been bred by religion over the years, especially in the world we live in today, is monumental.

I have quite a few gay friends (Lee says I am partial to a gay man) and I admire them for their honesty, quick witted sense of humour and overly dramatic living (this is not a generalisation of the gay populace, but simply one within my friends in particular).  I also applaud their extremely liberal outlook on life and hearing about the way they view sex in particular, is a real eye-opener…

A liberal outlook found in the dark


If you have heard of the Berghain in Berlin and what goes down in there (a lot of people it seems) then you will understand the extent of many a gay man’s liberal views of both life and sex.  A top haunt in the uber cool city of Berlin, it opens its doors of a Friday evening and then does not close until 10am on a Monday morning.  Top DJs play in the Berghain from around the world with the most influential genre being techno.  The Panorama Bar ajoins the club and this has a focus on house music – apparently when the sun arises, the blinds open for a mere second, a brief flirtation with reality, and then the bar is plunged into darkness and artificial light.

This weekend Matt brought his friends Graham and Tom, a Berliner who works in the Berghain for a meal with Andrena and I and the conversation…well it very quickly became an education.

Tom I have to say was a very interesting man who neither drinks nor takes drugs, and as he told us more about the Berghain, his grounded personality seems in stark contrast with the surreal nature of his workplace.  Why?  There are is a ‘dark room’ in the Berghain where gay men go to, in the words of Mr Clinton, have sexual relations with each other.  Some areas of the room are pitch black…some areas are dimly lit.  There is also a room for heterosexual people to go.  If you are not partaking, you may wish to watch, and this is ok to…

This concept will likely be beyond many people’s views of what is liberal, but both inside these rooms and into the ‘dancing’ itself, this club is celebrated as being a top location in Berlin – when I mentioned it on Facebook, a female friend posted that she had been for her 30th birthday and it is a brilliant place to go.  People from all walks of life queue for up to 5 hours to get in and then when in, the sense of freedom and being who you truly are is at the forefront of clubbers minds and it is for this sense of being true to yourself, that Tom believes the Berhain has become a destination club in his home city.

Whether this is the type of establishment you would ever frequent or not, it is clear that on talking to my gay friends, their views of sex are far more open than any of my hetrosexual friends.  And what do I think?  I would certainly go clubbing at the Berghain, Dreanie and I have even talked about taking the hubbie and hubbie-to-be there with Matt and co, but we would very so much remain in the lighter rooms.

Rainbow living

Gay marriage is now becoming more prevalent across the world, and in my opinion, it’s about bloody time.  Lee and I were married by a gay humanist and it was her happy outlook on life and her belief on living life to the full which really encouraged us to book her.

I believe that if you live an open minded life, you are bound to be far happier and your journey is sure to be far a more interesting one.  This is in contrast to a person who is confined to beliefs handed down by an unknown order and is not willing to except that everyone is different.

The rainbow flag is certainly the right symbolic emblem for homosexuality, their lives are certainly beyond colourful and maybe its about time that people with closed minds or those who object to homosexuality, inject a bit of this colour into their living.  I’ll leave you with some words of wisdom from Morgan Freeman…

“I hate the word homophobia. It’s not a phobia. You are not scared. You are an asshole”